Like a car that regularly needs a MOT check, it can also be a good idea in a relationship to check up on both partners’ expectations. Do you both have the same intentions, what do you want to get out of the relationship, what do you each find important, and what issues have you run into? It takes courage to hold a true conversation with one another. We can help you here with pre-mediation. This is not relationship therapy; it involves making quite specific agreements with one another.
Separation and divorce
Perhaps you no longer see a future together as partners and have decided to split up. That’s often a painful process and it takes a lot of courage to sort everything out together. The whole exercise can become a little more bearable if you bring in an outside party.
We ourselves have first-hand experience (where separation is concerned) and we work together closely in the mediation process. As man/woman and lawyer/psychologist. The four of us sit down together and in this way we support both partners. We are neutral and we make sure that the interests of both of you are taken into account. We also encourage you to come up with your own solutions so that they enjoy your full support. Of course confidentiality is paramount.
Mediation can give you personalised help in getting through the separation process. There are a number of steps that we run through together.
- Collecting all the details concerning the partnership, finances, accommodation and children.
- The ‘deep dive’: what has happened, how do you both feel about that, what still needs to be said, what do you both need in order to move on, what kind of contact do you want with one another (and the children) in the future, what do you definitely not want?
- Drawing up a divorce/separation agreement and parenting plan in which both partners’ interests are taken into account properly.
- Submitting the divorce agreement to the court (if married) and dealing with further administrative matters.
- Concluding the mediation process, with a ritual if required.
Our sessions never last longer than two hours as that has proved to be the most efficient approach. The number of sessions depends on the situation.
Pre-mediation and mediation are provided by Roelof Vos and Annemarie van Raay. Marijke Lont takes care of the legal proceedings in court as our divorce lawyer. See too Who we are.